Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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