playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
