Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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