I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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