you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
