But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
