he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
