I hate all girls vehemently.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
