True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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