haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
