R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
