Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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