Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
