Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
