I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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