I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
