But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
