I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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