And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
