problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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