so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
