Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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