i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
