Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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