idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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