Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize