Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize