I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
