This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
