So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
