Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Randomize
