If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
