If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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