You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
