I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
