just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
