You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this boner is exhausting
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize