It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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