its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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