I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
