I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
