It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize