No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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