wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize