Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
