Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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