she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
