i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
