Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
there was a trapeze. enough said
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
