I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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