I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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