my phone cant type all the emotion im having
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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