is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
