i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
