yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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