you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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