***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize