I feel like abortions should bother me more
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
