Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
