forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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